Kung Ang mga Tauhan sa “Venom” Ay Mga Tarot Cards
Hollywood Arcana: ยุควิปริตแห่งพิษ (ดุร้าย, ซื่อสัตย์โหดร้าย, ไม่มีเมตตา)
ถ้าเหตุการณ์ในจักรวาล Venom ทั้งหมดเดินเข้ามาในอ่านทาโรต์? Ang madaling — ang mga baraha ay agad magpaparehistro ng isang restraining order.
This story is basically: “What happens when a soft-hearted, career-ruined Pisces man gets possessed by the most chaotic, clingy, unhinged alien boyfriend in the galaxy.”
“Ano ang nangyayari kapag isang malambing, karerang sira na Pisces lalaki ay napasailalim sa pinaka-kalat, mahigpit, walang poulang dayuhang nobyo sa galaxy.”
🧬 Eddie Brock — The Hanged Man + Pisces Energy
エディはの人間のバージョン：「誓う私は努力している…しかし人生は私を何度も蹴飛ばし続けている。」
他是善良的、柔软的、道歉的、不堪重负的、情绪化到过分——基本上是包裹在连帽衫里的双鱼能量。
这个男人没有设立界限。 他像精神海绵一样吸收问题，然后奇怪为什么一切都疼。
占卜匹配？ 倒吊人。 Not because he’s enlightened… but because his whole life is one long “pause because the universe said so.”
but because his whole life is one long “pause because the universe said so.”
👹 Venom — The Devil + Aries/Scorpio Hybrid
Venom is what happens when Aries anger issues and Scorpio possessiveness have a demon baby.
He’s impulsive.
你是我的。
我们应该杀他。
我喜欢她，但她不能拥有你。
This is Devil-card energy on alien steroids — chaotic, obsessive, and horny for violence AND Eddie.
混乱的、偏执的、渴望暴力和埃迪的。
- 毒药拥有艾迪
Tarot: The Tower Translation: “Your whole life is about to collapse, babe. No refunds.”
Eddie loses his job, fiancée, dignity, and gains… a feral alien roommate in his skull.
- Convenience Store Banter
Tarot: The Lovers (Reversed) A perfect depiction of: “We’re in a relationship but only one of us admits it.”
Eddie tries to break up every five minutes. Venom reacts like a clingy ex-boyfriend with fangs.
- ヴェノムは牙を持つ執着する元彼のように反応する。
Tarot: Two of Cups This is the sweetest, dumbest, most toxic soulmate confession in cinematic history.
Two misfits bonding through trauma, hunger, and questionable decisions.
- これは映画史上最も甘くて最も愚かで最も有毒なソウルメイトの告白。
Tarot: Strength Eddie learns to control a murderous space demon using nothing but Pisces guilt, soft pleading, and emotional fatigue.
Basically: “How to Train Your Alien Boyfriend.”
- 只用双鱼座的内疚、柔弱的乞求和情感疲惫。
Tarot: Justice Two aliens beating the hell out of each other while humanity collectively says: “Yeah… we’re not getting involved.”
🪐 The Real Zodiac Matchup Eddie — Pisces (soft, emotional, easily possessed)
He doesn’t fall in love. He gets absorbed into relationships.
Él se absorbe en relaciones.
Venom — Aries + Scorpio (possessive, violent, loyalty-obsessed)
Abnegado.
Fácilmente intimidado por baba sensible.
Together? A cosmic-level toxic soulmate pairing that somehow… works.
💀 Final Verdict
💀 Julgamento final Venom não é uma história de super-herói.
É uma situação galáctica entre um humano Pisces deprimido
Cosmic toxic soulmates: written in the stars, bonded in the brainstem.
铭刻在星星里，绑定在脑干中。
🧿 想要更多野蛮的真相？
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